I...He...We Need You to Know

This may seem random to you, but it’s really not for me. There is a point. It's not just a story. But hopefully you'll like it for more than one reason. Please stick with me.

Last night I couldn't sleep. I was super excited about something, and my mind just kept going, and I've never felt the word "buzzing" applied so well. I went to bed at 11, and I knew by that point it must have been 12 at least. I knew I should be getting to sleep, but I was just too awake. Now that I've established the situation, I think I'll switch into present tense.

I hear Asher cry out, just once, just a little. A moment of silence. Now it's turned into one of those long cries that I don't see coming to an end any time soon. I hope my mom wakes up and gets him. I remember how hard it was being in his position.

To my relief, she does. She gets him, and I hear her take him back to her own bed. And he keeps crying. I hear them go into the bathroom, and I hear her patience draining as she asks him over and over what is wrong. He continues to cry as I imagine it's a stomach ache-that was (is, actually) my usual ailment-and he's stuck standing in there when I'm sure he wants to just be lying in bed.

My mother becomes exasperated and says if he'd just tell her what was the matter, she would help him. She wants to help him. He just keeps crying, and I feel that pang of panic that only lives in childhood, a fear that can hardly be described, but I'm going to try. I have to try. I'm a writer, and it is my job to tell you stories, and make you feel things, and I feel this is an incredibly important thing for you to understand. In that moment, I'm not the 18-year-old that I've grown to become. I'm four year old me. I am four year old Asher.

You see, Asher-as I did before him-hears what she's saying. He does. It enters his mind, but he can't even think about telling her the problem. The problem is so obvious to him, that he expects her to know it. I'm not saying it's fair, or right, I'm not abdicating it, I know people aren't mind readers. I'm just telling you how it is. He can't tell her. He needs her to know.

This is how it is during the day as well, of course. But at night, as I assume you know, everything bad is magnified. Everything is so much worse at, say, one in the morning. It's not even really the night itself. It's not really the dark per say, it's not really what's in the dark. It's the feeling that you get during the night that doesn't really have anything to do with any of that.

Have you ever been laying in bed in the middle of the night, and thought you heard someone walking around, or just noises, and you're so afraid, and you don't want to check? Then you tell yourself oh, it was just the neighbors, or oh, it was just something outside, the noises your house naturally makes. For Asher, there is no rationalizing. He is paralyzed in fear, a heavy fear. A mind boggling fear that weighs on him and kind of shuts the rationalizing part of his brain off, and starts running through the bad things. He starts losing himself.

I lie in my bed for a few minutes, listening to Asher crying in my mom's room once again. He just wants his mom. He just wants to be cuddled. He needs her comfort. She is there, but she's impatient because he won't tell her what's the matter. I don't blame her, but I am Asher, and I know what he needs.

Then, almost unconsciously, I've decided I need to help him. I need to do for him what I needed to be done for me. I am in the hallway, and then I am in my parents' room as my dad is leaving it. My mother says something about Asher waking us all up, is worried about him waking our neighbors. I am not. I am him.

I crawl into bed, and I stroke his hair. I whisper that it's okay, and I know. I know exactly how he feels, but I also know there is really no way to make him realize that, no way to use that as comfort to him. He keeps crying, and I keep stroking. He just wants mom, I tell myself.

I whisper in his ear, ask him if his belly hurts, I ask him if he had a bad dream. He doesn't answer. It doesn't matter. I ask him, "What's the matter?" and he turns to my mom, reaching out, but then rolling back to face me again.

"You want mom," I state, which as I've told you, I knew all along. He is glad I know, though. That I acknowledge it.

Slowly but surely, he begins to calm down, but still cries.

My other brother, who isn't like us, comes in clapping. He congratulates Asher on waking him up.

"You don't know," I want to tell him. "You don't know what it's like."

But I say nothing to him, instead whispering to Asher again. We cuddle a little closer together, and I know that he wants me near. He wants me to be there. He moves my hands away, only allowing one in his hair, not on his side, too, and I know it's because he wants me, but at the same time, he doesn't really know what he wants. I am patient with him, I wait for him to be patient with me again. The next moment he lets me put my hand back on him, but removes the one in his hair. I'm finally able to pat his side, and he finally seems to be falling asleep.

He's silent for a moment, then starts up again. He does this so many times, I start to laugh, mostly because of how much tension I feel, how much pressure, how much emotion. I need to let it out somehow, and short, bubbly spurts of laughter is the thing I see as the best option.

He finally falls asleep, I think, and become sure when I whisper it to the room and he stays silent. I move, and he seems to wake up. I freeze, and try again in a moment. I can't leave him when he is like this. I have to make sure he will stay asleep. I'm successful.

"Thank you, Jules," my mother says.

I don't even remember if I so much as mumbled an "mhm", because the truth is, I didn't do it for her, I didn't do it for my dad who was waiting to get back into his bed, I didn't do it for my brother who had school in the morning, I didn't do it for the defenseless neighbors. I did it for Asher. And I did it for me.

I wonder if that is selfish of me as I head back into my room. And then I lay in my bed, and I begin to sob.

Being Asher's big sister has been hard for me, in this way and others. I feel like Asher and I need you to know this, but I couldn't say it when I was his age, and I know he can't say it now. I told my mother this morning a little of how I remember feeling, presenting it gently, telling her I just wanted her to know, because, as she has always told me, she never knew what to do for me. Now I can express it, and now, maybe I can help Asher. The child in me hurts, but the adult in me feels a little proud. So I'm doing it for him, for me, for us, for anyone who reads this.

I...He...We need you to be patient with us, even when we can't tell you what's wrong and we're pushing you away. Especially then.

Sorry to interrupt, but...

Well, this is my blog so technically I can do whatever I want, but this post isn't going to be about India. There will be more on India, but I have something else I'd like to mention.
Today, I went to my home school elevator and basically I'm a graduate! :D Here's a little picture for you:
https://www.facebook.com/JulsieMaeHales/photos/a.1416752851932734.1073741828.1415395062068513/1429452517329434/?type=1&notif_t=like
Also, I wanted to share an incredible experience with you that I had just a few weeks ago. I'll give you a hint, it involves a band I love very much. :D So check it out!

http://www.movellas.com/story/201406201921071401-off-the-record

My Trip to India Part 4

Wete found us at the cafe, right before the cafe's power went out. I was told that happens often.
Wete got us a rickshaw, and we drove to the school he and Sarah are in charge of. Sarah had the kids sing for us. A lot of it was in English, too. They loved singing. It was so adorable. Then a couple of the kids gave us each cards that they had made themselves and signed (OH MY GOSH THEY ARE SUCH GOOD ARTISTS!) and a rose.
We went upstairs where Sarah was allowing a family to stay. It was a 17 year old boy whose kidney was failing I think. I think it was his brother and sister-in-law that were staying with him...Sarah's husband David was also upstairs with them. Anyway, we prayed with the boy and Sarah translated afterward that he said he felt lighter. We prayed with another family who lived in another room, then Sarah took us to the house of one of the girls from her school.
The stairs were very, very narrow, there were plenty of them, and I was wearing a skirt. That's basically when I started hating steps and skirts, and I had a whole week of them in front of me.
 We were led to a room with a family, some chairs, and a sleeping boy. They wanted him to wake up, but he was so tired. And cute. We prayed with the family and tried to communicate with the kids. Ellie tried to tell the girl she had a pretty smile. She misunderstood and thought Ellie meant she had something on her face. The problems of language barriers, ladies and gentlemen. 
A group of at least five teenage boys came. They didn't know what was going on, but were encouraged to come in. They were told about Jesus, and they all prayed before we left. It was an incredible thing to see. They took pictures with us with their cell phones, then we headed out.
The little girl held my hand as walked down the street. There were more people out than there had been when we'd gotten there. They stared as we walked by. Kids began to follow us. We amassed a very large crowd. The little girl waved goodbye to everyone, smiling big and pretending she'd be going home with us.
She switched to holding Ellie's hand before we got on bicycle rickshaws and waved goodbye to all the kids. Sarah took us to an outdoor market. Mostly people were selling material. As everyone else shopped, I listened to David telling my grandfather about how the women there were taken behind buildings and raped, how they lost track of the number of times they were raped, how the police knew and didn't do anything about it.
The market wasn't really what Ellie was looking for, so we went to another one. I believe it was much more what Ellie was looking for it. It was also much busier. The first store we went into was a jewelry store. A guy there tried to sweet talk me into buying a necklace. He picked out one-that was actually probably the closest to my taste-and put it on for me. Ellie ended up buying it.
Anyway, we spent the rest of the evening walking around the market. We had delicious momos. I was really tired and also extremely thankful when Ellie went into a store where there were two chairs. She tried on clothes and I got to rest for a bit. She ended up buying something and when she was ready to go, I told her I wasn't ready to get off the chair. One of the guys who worked there who had helped Ellie shop told me to stand up and put my hands behind my head, elbows out. I was nervous about it, but when I looked to my grandparents, they didn't seem concerned. It seemed to always work out that way-when Ellie and I were scared, they were fine, when they were scared, Ellie and I were rolling our eyes.
I did as he told me. He came up behind me and before I knew it, he'd lifted my feet in the air. My back cracked loudly, he set me down and...I felt better! More awake. It had been a long time since my back had been cracked. He told us his name was John. We didn't get the name of the other man working there, but we nicknamed him Cashmere because that's where he told us he lived and he was trying very hard to get us to visit.

My Trip to India Part 3

So, while we were waiting to be picked up, we decided to go to this cute little café two buildings down. There were two boys at the house, Syilus and Robin. They followed us and sat outside. It was so cute. The last time my grandfather was in India, the café had Wi-Fi. This time it did not. Ellie, Melanie, and I each ordered a chocolate shot there. I thought it was going to be, like, a mini cup of coffee that was actually mostly chocolate flavored or something, you know? But, no, it was actually a plastic shot glass full of chocolate mousse and chocolate crumbs. It was quite scrumptious. The café itself looked quite like a café in America, I'd say. A couple of couches, tables, a counter, even a flat screen TV on the wall playing Bollywood music videos. It was really nice.

Sarah's brother, Wete, picked us up from the café, and we took our first rickshaw to Sarah and Wete's school/church. My first impression of the rickshaw and India's traffic in general was, "This does not feel safe." Rickshaws are kind of like a glorified Indian golf cart. And they're street legal. Google it. Really, anything flies on the streets of India to be honest. Anyway, there are tons of rickshaws in India. I'd say there's a pretty even amount of cars, motorcycles, and rickshaws.

If there are physical, white, painted lanes on the street, they are not at all respected in India. All the vehicles squeeze in as tight as possible-including little streets and alleyways, which was quite annoying if you were a pedestrian-coming literally within inches of each other at any and all times. And they go fast in India. There is no speed limit. There are barely any traffic lights. Like, we might have seen twenty in the almost two weeks we were there, and actually stopped at half of them. There are speed bumps in places. And they speed right over them. They don't even slow down. That was usually painful...A whole ton of trust was required in India. You had to trust your driver not to get into an accident, to get you to the right place. We didn't speak the language. That was a huge problem.

The driving is insane, but it completely worked. It doesn't make any sense at all-a lot of things in India didn't make any sense at all, actually-but, it totally worked. I actually came to love the India traffic. I was still a little worried when we'd come inches from running into another car, but I think that's normal. The weather was absolutely perfect on the first day, but it seemed to get hotter and hotter every day, and the rickshaws were nice and breezy. The one thing I didn't like about the India traffic was the horns. There was literally always someone honking. The backs of a bunch of trucks actually said "horn please". I mean, I can see how the horn could be useful, but after a point it's just like come on. Especially when someone honks at you because you're walking in their way, you lock eyes with them, you're clearly unable to move or go any faster, or perhaps you're obviously working on it, and they just stare you down, their hand just laying on the horn. That was frustrating.

My Trip to India Part 2

So, today is not tomorrow...Sorry about that, in case you were waiting anxiously for more about my trip.

Before I tell you more about my trip, though, I'd like to inform you that I was published in J14 Magazine! Ellie and I found my magazine in JFK airport which was so cool. Made me quite happy.

Alsoly, my book In the Heart of an Unsocial Butterfly, is now available on Kindle.

Anyway, I left off at the hotel. It wasn't really a hotel, per say. Really, it was someone's house. People rented the top floor and the owners shared their actual house with us. Ellie, Melanie, and I got this adorable room with three beds, a bathroom, and three futons...I think that's what they're called anyway. I fell asleep sometime around five in the afternoon and was awake on and off until around 7:30, just a minute or two before my grandma came to wake us up because the people of the house had made us tea.

We sleepily stumbled to my grandparents' room down the hall and sat at their little coffee table and had some really yummy tea. The food in India is quite delicious. The people of the house also brought us a bucket of hot water. For bathing.

I used my grandparent's bathroom the first morning. Thankfully the bathrooms at the place we were staying actually had toilets. We had to fill up a bucket it and dump the water in the toilet to flush it, but it could have been worse.

The bathrooms in India are called washrooms. I'm not sure if you know this, but in India there's not a whole lot of toilet paper. We'd brought our own. The bathrooms have drains in the floor, to clean (at least what I did) you have a bucket of steaming hot water, a smaller bucket with a handle kind of in the fashion of a mug, and you have two faucets on the wall. You fill the small bucket with part hot water and part colder water and that is how you rinse yourself. You just rinse and the water just goes all over the bathroom floor and eventually it goes down the drain.

The people of the house gave us a choice of hard boiled eggs or omelets. I chose hard boiled and my family ate while I was getting ready so I was also brought toast. I had time to eat about half of it before Sarah showed.

And I'll stop myself now. Tell you more soon. 

Part 1 of My Trip to India

Hallo!

It's been forever again. This time I have a really good excuse. I just got back from India on...Thursday. The days have been so confusing, and they have been flying. And I'm here to tell you about them.

So, on the 31st, I packed into a car with my grandparents, Youtuber Ellie St. Claire, and a family friend named Melanie and headed to New York. We spent the night in a hotel in Queens, where I probably got about five hours of sleep, and the next day headed off to the airport. It was my first time on a plane and I was a bit nervous for the take off, but once we were in the air I was like, "Is that it?" I got maybe five minutes of sleep on my 13 hour flight and was quite restless. I did get to watch This Is Us, the One Direction movie, though, and I got my grandma to watch it so that was great.

After the 13 hour flight, we landed in Dubai, then got on a shuttle, then another two hour flight to New Delhi. I got about 20 minutes of sleep on that flight. It was somewhere around three or four in the afternoon when we got there I think. Our amazing friend Sarah picked us up from the airport and on the way to the place we were staying, I came across my first Indian beggar. It scared the dickens out of me. A woman holding her baby came up to the car and was tapping on the window and it just freaked me out. I was running on basically no sleep, and I was so far away from home, missing my family already. I had a little panicky moment when we got back to the hotel. We stayed there for the night, sleeping on and off until around 7:30 in the morning. And I think I'll tell you more tomorrow. Stay tuned. ;) If you like, there's a neat little button in the top right corner of my blog where you can put in your email address and be notified when I post a blog entry. It's up to you. Byyyeeee!

Lack of Wisdom Teeth, Big, Huge Trips, and Big, Huge Birthdays

Greetings!
So, I haven't written on my blog in weeks. I have a good excuse, kind of. Not really. For a short period of time it was. Mostly it's just because I didn't feel like posting.

I got my wisdom teeth out. Yep, three weeks ago. I don't remember waking up. I was miraculously in the hallway with my sweatshirt on, being returned to my mother. They laid me on a sofa and I started crying. I remember thinking I didn't know why I was crying, but I just let myself keep crying. For most of the first night, I was just numb. Before I went to bed it was more of an ache. It drained a ton, but there wasn't a whole lot of bleeding. The next few days mostly the pressure from my swollen face was bothering me. I didn't take any pain pills, I watched TV, and ate a lot of ice cream. I think I got off pretty easy. It wasn't as bad as I expected it to be. When I went back to see Dr. Fallon a week later, I was there for probably about five minutes. It was very fast. He didn't ask a lot of questions, and I forgot to ask him what happened when I woke up and how on earth I got my sweatshirt on. I'm a bit disappointed about that. 

Friday night I had a sleepover with Ellie which was absolutely lovely.

Alsoly these past couple of weeks I've been shopping and preparing ant thinking about two things:
1. My 18th birthday!
and 2. My upcoming trip to India!

I'm very excited about both. I got a shot for India which I didn't like at all as I hate shots, not because of the pain, but because of what happens to your body because of them. Also, I've been working on getting my visa and new, modest outfits (i.e. I went thrift shopping for skirts). I'm going with my grandparents and one of my favoritest people ever, Ellie St. Claire, the Youtuber. Getting Visas has been a pain in the butt, but I'm so super excited. I've never even been on a plane before so this is huge. We're going to do mission work, but also tourist-y things and hopefully I'll post all about it when we get home.

And now my birthday. It's quite insane! I'm turning 18! I had a party on Saturday and I had the guests write a story about their dream trip they'd go on with me. That was...interesting at times, but overall very sweet and special and I enjoyed my party very much. It was just my family and we had a good time. And here are a few pictures (the ones I feel I look best in, obviously) for your viewing pleasure:

Me and Ellie

                                                          

Me and my Uncle Frankie

And me and my brother, Asher

Concerts, Bands, Writing, and Sickness

Dude! Hey. ;)

So, obviously it's been a while since I've posted. And, uh, lets see. I had another book review published on Miss Literati:
http://www.missliterati.com/book-reviews/mad-wicked-folly-review
And I got them to review my book as well and they had some super nice things to say. Everyone's been saying super nice things about it. I really appreciate it.
http://www.missliterati.com/stories/in-the-heart-of-an-unsocial-butterfly-52f1afe25f660c04a6020de5

I've been sick since Wednesday which is the day I was supposed to have my wisdom teeth removed. So, for now, I'm still wise. ;P My appointment is rescheduled, with Dr. Fallon thank God. Since I've just been laying around the past couple of days, I've been reading Les Miserables for the second time, which is a big honking long book in case you didn't know. 1,260 pages. It's big, but it's good. I'll tell you I got into it because of Nick Jonas because I'm honest and unashamed. So there.

This has so much to do with everything I don't even know where to start. Okay, speaking of Nick Jonas, when he was on the X-Factor however long ago I obviously had to watch. Which is when I found out about Emblem3. I was kind of interested in them. Then I went to see the Jonas Brothers this summer at the Mixtape Festival. And Emblem3 was there. They were really good! Drew took off his shirt. And I started to get into them from there. They were going to do a cd signing, but I didn't want to go because, for one, I wanted to make sure I was there when the Jonas Brothers were, since they were the ones I'd come to see, and also I didn't really know anything about Emblem3. I'd watched that one episode with them on the X-Factor, but that was it. I didn't want to hop in line just because they were famous. I hate when people do stuff like that. I kick myself over it now, but it was the right choice for the time.

So, MTKO, their opening act was on first, then Emblem3, and it started to rain. They had to stop the show and we had to go under the stands. Emblem3 finished, then Boys II Men, then the Jonas Brothers. They were amazing, but I was a little sad because you can just tell they're different than they were, you know? It's just this unignorable feeling hovering over you. I was cold and wet so we left after that. But TLC and New Kids on the Block played after words.

Anyway, I started listening to a couple of Emblem3 songs on Youtube after that. Christmas I got a gift card and decided to buy their CD. And now, I would jump at the chance to meet them. Especially because of this weather, I love their beach-y sound. They're pop but they infuse so many different styles into that. Pretty much all day Friday I was watching their interviews on Young Hollywood. And decided I ship #Dracy. ;) And also I've decided that I no longer know whether Wesley or Keaton is my favorite. 

They just did the first show on their first headline tour. I would love to go, but money. Also, if you're a member of their website, which is $20, you can enter this contest to be their Valentine's Day Date.

Yeah, I wanna enter.

(I'm not a member.)

Moving on from my boy obsession, yesterday I finally went out and went to the Olive Garden with my cousin, grandma, and Poppy to celebrate my Poppy's birthday. It was really nice. :) Today we had an extremely impromptu party for him at my house as well.

So, tell me, what music are you into? Ever been to a concert?

Stay-well, I was going to say stay cool, but it's snowing so never mind. Stay warm actually.

Oh yeah! And also speaking of the X Factor, did you hear it's cancelled? I'm so, so, so super bummed because me and my mom wanted her to enter it. Plus One Direction and Emblem3 came from X Factor. And who wouldn't want to meet Simon Cowell, I mean....?

Everyone is a person.

Vas Happenin'? I'm hating this polar vortex thing, how about you?

Basically, I've been snowed in the past few days. But, I've been reading one of my favorite books, Endless Summer by Jennifer Echols, which is set in summer, to warm me up. ;) Yesterday, though, I went to the oral surgeon's office. Yes. It's about that time where dentists are concerned about my
wisdom teeth. Ask me how much I want my wisdom teeth out. Uh-huh. My doctor's name, though, (who only works on Wednesdays in that particular office, keep in mind.) is...drum roll...Dr. Fallon. I love Jimmy Fallon. Most people would probably describe my love as an unhealthy obsession. So he came in, gave me this whole long speech on my teeth and the whole time I was telepathically trying to tell him to ask me if I had any questions and comparing his face to Jimmy's. I was honestly trying to pay attention to what he said, but I think I missed a bit towards the end. Of course, when he got done talking, I had to ask him about Jimmy. I think he found it amusing, and told me no, he wasn't related to Jimmy. My mom, however, was like "He just said all that and that's all you have to ask?" The nurse told me that Dr. Fallon's jokes were just as good as Jimmy's. He was really nice, but I'm still dreading having my teeth taken out. All four of them. Firstly, the thought that they're going to make me fall asleep does not sound pleasant. Second, pain. Third, pain medications. I haven't taken any medicine since, like, 2006 or something. Fourth, I'm a little afraid of what I'll say while on the anesthesia. The list actually keeps going, but I'll stop there.

I also went to Smokey Bones to celebrate my cousin's birthday. I had the cheeseburger pizza. It was really, really delicious. And I tried fried pickles for the first time! They were really good as well. And I was wary about them.

I'd like to share this video with you before the end of this post, as well. I love Harry Styles, like, a lot, a lot, a lot, but this applies to more than Harry. It applies to other celebrities and just people in general. Everyone is a daughter or son to someone. They have family and friends. They have likes and dislikes. I know it's such an obvious statement, but everyone is person. I challenge you to put yourself in other people's shoes sometimes and just think about it what all of this means. Think about how you'd feel if you were in the other person's position before you speak or act.

Emotions Are Powerful

Hey you.

So, wondering what took me so long? What were my Wednesday plans? I'll tell you.
When my mom was in line for The Voice, she was approached by a talent scout. I was planning on going with her, but I thought it would look more professional if she didn't bring her kids along. Long story (which isn't mine anyway) short, she went in Wednesday and they want her to model. We'll see.

Thursday I went to see Winter Jam. It was very, very awesome. Very fun. I think I've gone four years now? Winter Jam is a concert: ten christian bands for $10. You get your tickets at the door. They're always sold out. One year, one of the musicians who would be playing came outside and played for the people who couldn't get in. Colton Dixon was my favorite this year I think. There's always a crazy long line and basically you stand outside until your nose and toes hurt. Or at least, that's what happened for me.

Friday...Friday was a very interesting day for me. I went to Target with my mom and little brother. We were going to be super fast because my mom had to get to work in two hours. My mom wanted to look at the clothes that were on sale quickly. While looking, I started feeling sick. I kept trying to hurry my mom and hope that the feeling passed. We were at the point where we'd seen basically all the clearance when I told her I just wasn't feeling good. She finished, and we were ready to move on to other, more important shopping sections. This probably took five minutes. Very suddenly, I felt I had to sit down. Luckily, the changing rooms were right there, or I'm pretty sure I would have fainted. I have never fainted before, just for the record. I was barely able to open my eyes. When I did, my vision was spotty, kind of like when you see the light after having your picture taken, except the light was smaller, multiplied, and connected through a bunch of lines. Everything sounded far away. I was handed a trashcan by an extremely nice Target worker (I love Target workers. Just saying.) and I'll spare you those details. It was the worst I've ever felt and I didn't feel like I could move, so the lovely Target worker not only got me a wheelchair, but helped me in and out and wheeled me to the car. If you know me and my connection to Target and the amount of time I've spent there in the past years, you'll agree with me that of all the public places I would get sick, that would be it. I found it almost kind of funny and inevitable. When we got home, laying on the couch helped. My mom and I discussed what could be the problem. She suggested I was detoxing emotions. And it made so much sense to me.

See, I recently read a book called The Healing Codes. It is healing the heart with energy. Doing The Healing Codes has definitely been helping me. To give you an example, all my life I've hunched severely. I was always told, "Stand up straight," but it didn't feel right. It almost hurt, and I never remembered to keep straight. It lasted a couple minutes at most. I'm not perfect now, but the first night I did The Healing Codes, I stood up straighter than I ever have and it felt good. I'm so much better than I was. There are so many testimonies in the book: healing of scoliosis, cancer, rape, a lizard's crushed skull, incurable diseases. I extremely suggest reading it. At the very least, it has extremely interesting information. It's not dry, boring stuff. It's cool and the authors infuse stories in it. I don't want to really give too much out-even though I could go on and on-because you should read it for yourself.

Anyway, it is not uncommon to get sick because of doing The Healing Codes, 1 in 10 people do. The example they use in the book is when you have the flu, or a cold, or any kind of sickness, having a runny nose and all those other symptoms are just that, symptoms. They're not the actual disease, they're the side effects of your body getting rid of the disease. Your body can detox when you do The Healing Codes, and it means you're getting better.

When I think about the thoughts I was having before I got to Target, right before I had to sit down, and as I was being wheeled out, it makes sense. When you add that I was feeling better the next day and even made it through another shopping trip, I think it's pretty much decided.

Just look up The Healing Codes, at the least. You'll be doing yourself a favor.   

Also, I'm a book reviewer for Miss Literati and one of my reviews for a book called Heart Beat by Elizabeth Scott was just published on their website. You should go check it out.
http://www.missliterati.com/book-reviews/review-heartbeat

Sunday's theme: Boldness

What's up, baby? As the beautiful Max Schneider would say.

So, last time I wrote, I told you that my mother was going to be trying out for The Voice. Have you anxiously been awaiting the verdict? I'll tell you now. It was a no.

Sunday, my alarm did not go off because I accidentally set it for 7 PM instead of 7 AM! (Come on, I know I'm not the only one that does that.) My mother woke me up at 7:30 and we ended up being only a few minutes late to my grandparent's house, a big feat for us. We were also a few minutes late to church. 

We went to a church that used to be a movie theater.  It was gutted and changed up now, of course. We got there and were looking for a place to sit, when a nice usher guided us to the very first row in the very middle section. Right in front of the stage. I think they keep the front open so they can shame people in to not coming late. ;) 

Anyways, it was my first time there. The pastor preached on this book that my mom has been reading over and over and constantly talking about. It's called The Circle Maker. And today in particular the pastor mentioned boldness. 

We were going to take the train, but ultimately decided to just drive. The building the auditions were being held in was pretty much right there. We dropped my mom off, left and came back with food, then left her again. She said it took about an hour to even get in the building the line was that long. It snaked along three of the building's walls. And it was a pretty huge building, to let you know.

My grandparents and I walked around Philly and to my pleasant surprise, ended up in China Town looking for a restaurant that they couldn't remember the name or location of. We found it, though. The waiter described one of the teas as "bold". We went to The Gallery where my grandma and I did a little bit of shopping, then went to Macy's (which is grand!), got some smoothies, and then received the news that my mom was done. This took 4 more hours. Five in total, in case you don't remember the math.

My mom said basically, in those 4 hours, she had been shuffled from room to room until finally she was with a group of ten singers. They were brought to a room where they sang in front of a producer, and even though she thought at least three of them should absolutely have been picked, he said he wasn't going to give any of them call backs. 

I'm not gonna lie, I was extremely, extremely, extremely disappointed. Plus I was tired and they just fed into each other. It was not fun at all. I was looking forward to it for weeks and I just thought this is it, you know? I'm always working towards something. I need something to work toward. It was a "no" which I didn't think it would, or should, be. I didn't expect it and we were already thinking about the future it would make for us and we were really excited about it! I didn't know what I would work towards now.

But, I had to pick myself and find something else. That's just how it is. We'll see how it goes. 

I was very proud of my mom, though. I was surprised by how kept together she was. I couldn't believe she waited in line in the cold for an hour! I can't believe she tried out at all!  

One other thing, did you notice the links on the side now? The first link will take you to my book, In the Heart of an Unsocial Butterfly. Then, my Twitter (where you can read the things I was tweeting my mom during her wait to audition, if you're interested), and a bunch of links to writing websites that I use regularly. I'll shamelessly tell you it's mostly fan fiction on those websites. In case the blog doesn't indicate it, I'm more experienced at writing than most of the fan fic writers out there.

Thanks for taking time to read this, Love. I'm not sure if I'll get around to writing tomorrow, because I do have a plan. I'm sure I'll tell you about it in the next day or two. 

Stay bold and always pick yourself back up! ♥

We're kick-starting.

Hallo!
Firstly, I'd like to talk about the show Sweet Home Alabama. Have you heard of it? It's a bachelor-bachelorette show where either a girl or guy (usualy a girl) from the south has to choose between ten country contestants and ten city contestants. I've been watching since season one, and, I've always instinctively known which guy the southern belle would pick. It's not even that I knew, really, I was just like, "Okay, that's the guy I like." Adam, definitely Jeremiah (I was so devastated when they broke up!), and now, Collin! I didn't even try to guess who the one country guy, Tribble, had to pick. I love the show and I'm just such a sucker for romantic stuff like this. I'm so happy Kelsey picked Collin and I wish them tons of happiness.

Going off of that, one of the things that kick-started this crazy exciting journey I've been on is I got to meet one of the contestants parents. Who happen to know my grandparents. The contestant's name is Dustin Tavella. He's a really talented musician and a really awesome guy. I am ecstatic to say I've had the privilege of meeting him a bunch of times as well. The first time was December 30, 2012. I've met his sister as well and their whole family is just really sweet.

Lastly, I'm really, really excited because tomorrow I am going with my mom to her audition for The Voice. We've been praying hard. Can't wait to see what happens. I'll let you know.

Thank you for reading, Babe! I'll leave you some links so you can connect with me more. :)


https://twitter.com/JulsieMaeHales
http://www.missliterati.com/u/jewelsk96
http://www.wattpad.com/user/jewelsk96
http://www.movellas.com/people/profile/201304011641135507-jewelsk96
http://figment.com/users/275805-Juliana-Krouse

Welcome!

Hello, Beautiful!

Let me start off by telling you a little about myself. I call myself Jules, I am 17, and currently homeschooling myself for the very last year. Which obviously means I'm a senior. Writing is my passion, but I also love music, cooking, shopping, and just going out and doing things.

I've heard that having a blog is a good way to grow a fan base and show you're serious about writing and things like that. So I figured I'd give it a shot because I just published a book! :)
http://amzn.com/1492747122

I had the very best year 2013, so at first this blog will probably be about all those adventures. I'm sure you can also expect to hear about my mom's music career.
http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCDxJueAoo9w5EQwggCYMI-A

I am moving to California. I don't know how and I don't know when, but my mom's music is going to get us there. God promised. Anyway, I made a list of things I wanted to do before I moved. The list was thrown out, but this is what was on it, and what you can expect to be reading about.
-Go to New York [for the very first time]
-Go to New Jersey one more time (and hopefully meet thecomputernerd01) [an awesome Youtuber]
-Say goodbye to Target [There's a lot of memories at the Target I shop at, okay?]
-Go to [a coffee shop that I don't know the name of]

There's so much more than just that list that has been happening to me. And let me tell you, I really didn't expect half of the things to happen. It'll be interesting, promise.

Thank you for reading, Babe! I'll leave you some links so you can connect with me more. :)

https://twitter.com/JulsieMaeHales
http://www.missliterati.com/u/jewelsk96
http://www.wattpad.com/user/jewelsk96
http://www.movellas.com/people/profile/201304011641135507-jewelsk96
http://figment.com/users/275805-Juliana-Krouse